i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
this boner is exhausting
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize