All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize