somebody snuck up and got me drunk
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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