Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
