Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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