I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
