I think my vagina is haunted
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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