Just cropdusted the office
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
