if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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