We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
