So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
