It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
