Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize