My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
