FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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