I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize