Jerry, you need to find god
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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