Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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