this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
