So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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