question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
