thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
