"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
