I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Your penis caused this!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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