His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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