That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
