it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
