you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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