the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
