i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
