Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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