So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
