I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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