i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
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My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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