You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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