smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I think i peed on brittanys purse
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
