I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
