Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize