we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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