The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
