Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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