Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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