So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
