the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
