hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
