don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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