Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goatâ€
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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