we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
