she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
