on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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