hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
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Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
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How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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