I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
