my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
