The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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