I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
