tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
