So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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