The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
