This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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