Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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