If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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