I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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