road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
