Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My balls are so social today.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
