Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
