I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
