she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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