if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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