I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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