the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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