I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize